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Rick Warren

Rule 2

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Fellow Mods,

 

I'm a little concerned about Bonita's and Midsoniter Woman's breaking rule 2 about personal attacks. Today Bonita stated her ex is a liar. "Brian" the loser has been the subject of an on going thread by MW. Might this at some point cause a problem for the Forum?

 

I'm inclined to remind them both of rule 2 by PM.

 

Thots?

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Hi Rick -- are you referring to this from Bonita:

 

"Personally, I lost respect for my husband because he lied constantly. He was not trustworthy and engaged in devious, antisocial behavior that I was afraid to expose my children to. I broke the marriage relationship because I could no longer work with a liar. However, I never lost my respect for him. We are still good friends."

 

In the context of a discussion of marriage, this seems to be well self-moderated and interesting. But I agree, such statements may lead to repercussions. As conductor of this discussion, how about you thank Bonita, then remind her that rule 2 was designed to help avoid potential accusations of "character smearing" or defamation. Perhaps "he" may one day join the forum, and object?

 

Regarding MW and her experience with Mr B, well, I'm out of my depth there...

 

I'm inclined to remind them both of rule 2 by PM.

 

Ok, please do!

Nigel

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Sent her this:

Hi Bonita,

 

Thanks, as always, for your cogent input, and on so many threads. You save the staff a lot of time, and almost always respect the rules. But, this morning's statement about your ex breaks rule 2 regarding personal attacks. If ever he or his friends should see such a statement the Forum might be exposed to legal trouble for not enforcing its rules. I know it's a long shot, but I am asking that you please remove this:

 

"Personally, I lost respect for my husband because he lied constantly. He was not trustworthy and engaged in devious, antisocial behavior that I was afraid to expose my children to. I broke the marriage relationship because I could no longer work with a liar..."

 

Rick

 

Not sure how to handle MW's notice. You have suggestions Meredith?

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Bonita said:

 

Oh, okay. I don't see how that is a violation of the rules since no one would know which ex I'm talking about since they were both liars. I never mentioned a name. On that note, shouldn't you ask Jessica to remove her story about Brian? I don't understand the what makes her posts about him legitimate and mine illegitimate.

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My reply:

 

 

Thanks for understanding. Much appreciate your cooperation.

 

About the "Socially Unfit" thread, it is also under admin evaluation.

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Background on the "Socially Unfit" thread: http://urantia.invisionzone.com/index.php?/topic/963-socially-unfit-individuals/

 

Thanks for speaking up FTFSGRL,

 

I too was troubled by some of the statements in this thread. The topic is worthy of discussion, but it bothered me that "Brian" wasn't here to offer his side of it, to defend himself.

 

Here's asking all Forum members, do your best to avoid derogatory statements about anyone, member or not, please focus on the issue at hand. Personal attacks go against Forum rules.

 

Rick, Forum moderator

 

MW replied:

 

The Urantia clearly says that we are not all equal. But if I said anything derogatory about Brian, I apologize. Sometimes I don't word things properly. If there is a better way to say this stuff, please teach me the better way to speak about it. But please don't tell me not to speak of it. Don't silence the whole discussion just because it is not politically correct. This is a Urantia Book forum here to discuss Urantia Book concepts. I know this discussion would be inappropriate for just about every where else. But us UB readers should be able to talk about it somehow.

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Bonita's reply:

 

Sure . . .

 

But just so you know . . . calling my ex's liars is not a personal attack. Both of them freely admit that they are liars. Neither of them would be the least bit offended by that. They consider it a badge of honor, proof that they can beat the system and maintain control over others.

 

Maybe you should rethink the definition of "personal attack" and define the difference between being honest and truthful about someone versus being slanderous. A personal attack, in order to be considered libel, has to be false and malicious. Calling my ex a liar is neither false nor malicious. It's a fact that we all agree on, including his lawyer and his therapist.

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My response:

 

Thanks for letting me know,

 

I didn't know all that, and no one reading it knew. That was the problem, eh? I also think about how I would feel if such a statement were left up publicly, in perpetuity, how my family might be affected, my friends, prospective employers.

 

In Jessica's case, its a bit different imo. The mods are still discussing it.

 

Sure glad you're here, Sis.

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Thanks for following up Rick. I was not too concerned, since I got the impression Bonita intended -- that this was not an emotion-charged character assassination, just a statement of fact. But I agree fully that such things are not appropriate for perpetuating in a Google'd eternity.

 

What interesting dynamics our families induce! :(

 

Nigel

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