P.592 - §5 It is neither tenderness nor altruism to bestow futile sympathy upon degenerated human beings, unsalvable abnormal and inferior mortals.
The talk of eugenics and moral degeneracy in the reading today has made me want to start this topic. I think I just dated the UB definition of a subnormal, a "degenerate." I think he may have no Thought Adjuster. He's like a dog. Tell me what you guys think. Maybe other UB readers have had similar experiences? I didn't know that men like this even existed.
He was the guy I liked for about half a year and then he finally asked me out. I had been admiring him from afar for a long, long time. It was like a dream come true to have the man you've been admiring for so long finally ask you out. That's why it took me so long to break up with him even after I saw the signs of degeneracy. He was one of the best dancers at the club. He was 6 foot 4 inches, thin, well-built, blonde hair in a pony tail, blue eyes, great smile, nice beard, good dresser. He had a lively and cheerful personality with a great sense of humor. He was in his early 60's, but very attractive. He did day trading on his lap top for money and said he had a law degree. He said he couldn't get a job because he failed the bar 8 times. But I liked that he didn't drink or smoke. Sometimes he made $100 a day in day trading and other times he made nothing. We'll just call him Brian to protect his identity.
It was immediately apparent that he didn't have the best hygiene in the world, but I've dated guys who smelled worse. I decided to try to work with him about it. But after a couple of weeks, I realized that he wasn't showering or changing his clothes or brushing his teeth at all ever. So I had to start asking him to. He would just look at me like he didn't know what I was talking about. Before I would go with him anywhere, I would make him take a shower. I noticed that I had to tell him to put on clean clothes after his shower because otherwise he would put on the same dirty clothes that he was wearing before his shower. But it would always turn into an argument. A big argument. I also had to demand that he give me his dirty laundry so I could wash it for him. He tried to fight me on that too. I was offering to do his laundry for him. He wouldn't even have to do the work. And he still didn't want his clothes washed. But I wouldn't go out with him otherwise so he begrudgingly consented. This turned into a regular struggle.
He also had a penchant for chewing the same piece of gum for days on end. He would take the gum out and set it on the counter and then put it back in his mouth over and over again. I tried to throw it away, but he protested.
I knew I couldn't ever be physically intimate with him until I taught him some hygiene, but I thought it would be an easy thing to teach someone. Beside, nobody is perfect, I told myself.
I thought he was having just temporary tough times when he told me that he ate at a soup kitchen and had no place to live right now. Everyone has temporary troubles sometimes, I told myself. I thought maybe it had something to do with the fact that the room he was renting had asked him to leave because the other tenants complained about him.
I went with him and his friend many times as they drove around looking at houses for sale. He said he was looking to buy a house. There was an unlocked garage and a shed open in one of the houses. We walked in and that's when his buddy said, "Here's a place for you to sleep, Brian." I started laughing so hard as I thought that was a very funny joke. I just shook my head and blew it off as good humor. Wait, it gets creepier.
He came over one day smelling like a trash dumpster. I've never seen him in such a happy mood, though. There was a couple brown bags full of stuff that he said he "bought." But it stank of garbage. He started setting the items out on my living room. They were useless items that I didn't need. I told him to get rid of that stuff because it stank and I had no need of it. He was shocked!!!! He thought I would be as happy as he was to have found free "stuff." He looked like I really hurt his feelings.
I began to discern that this man was what is referred to as a "hoarder." He had found stuff in a dumpster and thought to start piling it in my apartment. He said that my apartment was really big and there was a lot of space for him to "put stuff." After pressing him, he admitted that he found the cap he was wearing in a dumpster that day, but it was a perfectly good cap and he was thrilled, just thrilled, to have found it. He was truly thrilled. You could see the excitement in his face. He was crushed when I made him put it in the laundry. I told him that he was not allowed to bring garbage into my apartment ever again and he was crushed.
He kept offering to sell my car and other belongings and move me out of my apartment to live with him. He kept disapproving of my apartment as an unnecessary luxury. He was in the process of buying a van that he said he was going to remove the seats and turn the van into a place to live and sleep.
I had just recently had to apply for full disability since my military injury has gotten worse. He said he wanted in on my "scam." He went on and on about what a good "hustle" my military injury will be for us. I was so disgusted with the way he kept insinuating that my injury was fake just to get out of working that I exploded at him in a rage. He said I was choosing to be disabled, which really infuriated me. I have extreme pain from my injury every day that he was totally insensitive to. That's when I realized that his lifestyle was a choice, not just temporary tough times. He was happy and cheerful in his disposition about his lifestyle too, which I find baffling. How could anyone be happy and cheerful about choosing his kind of lifestyle?
Another clue was when he asked me if we could get a cat or a dog. I'm allergic, but that's beside the point. I explained that I'm waiting for disability and for my injury to improve and that I'm not even self-supporting right now so there would be no way to support a pet. He argued that we have food stamps. That's when I freaked out and told him that food stamps are just a temporary emergency kind of thing, not something to be thought of as income. Then he argued with me about food stamps being a temporary emergency kind of thing. He said as long as we qualify, we should always live on them and get a cat also. I'm not making this up. He actually said this stuff. I couldn't make this up. This is when I realized that he was a lifestyle bum.
Everyone likes to get free stuff now and again, but this guy talked non-stop about how to get out of paying everything every day. Every day he would try to talk people into giving him something for free. It really started getting on my nerves. If I had a family member around he would try to get money or favors from them. I exploded at him and told him that was extremely inappropriate to ask me or any member of my family for money. He didn't seem to understand. He would just shrug and say that he was good for a loan. I tried to explain the inappropriateness of asking people for loans every day. It doesn't matter whether you are good for a loan or not. It's just not appropriate conversation, I explained.
Then when I was giving my brother a ride because he had too much to drink, Brian tried to invite himself over to my brother's house. My brother freaked out. I told Brian that was extremely inappropriate to just invite yourself over to someone's house out of the blue like that. And I couldn't understand the reasons behind this weird behavior.
He would come over to my apartment every day and want to use my stuff, my computer, my food, my water, etc. I had to ask him for the cash to pay for it as he was using so much of it. He would use my kitchen to heat up something I believe was from the soup kitchen down the street, but he would insist on using the same dirty dishes over and over again. He would complain every time I turned on the dishwasher. He said it wasn't necessary to run the dishwasher and that it was better to use dirty dishes. He would actually open the dishwasher and pull out dirty dishes to use instead of using clean ones from the cupboard. I began to plan my break up with him.
Then he admitted that he wasn't actually renting a room from that house he lived in. He was paying the owner a little bit of money to live in the guy's back yard.
The final straw was the time he pretended to brush his teeth in front of me, but he was standing in the living room facing a wall. He wasn't in the bathroom. There was no sink or running water. It was like he was just pretending to brush his teeth in front of me, but he didn't even know how to do that. It's like no on ever taught him how. So I decided I had to break up with him immediately.
After I told him on three separate occasions to get out of my life, he kept calling and emailing. Then Brian emailed and said he got arrested sleeping in one of those houses for sale. He wanted me to come to his trial. That's when I realized that his buddy wasn't joking when he said there was an open shed for him to sleep in. He was really sleeping in sheds and empty houses as a lifestyle. I tried to get a restraining order, but the judge said he wasn't threatening my life so there was nothing the courts could do. But good thing the guy left me alone finally.
This all came as a big shock to me to learn that there really are people like this in the world. I always heard that they existed, but this was my first time meeting one. I'm still in a state of shock.
Edited by Midsoniter woman, 22 January 2011 - 04:14 PM.