Sometimes it seems like there is entirely too much micro-managing going on of absolutely everything in life. Jesus was not a micro-manager of men, the Pharisees were. It is also noted by another UB author that that is not the way to have relationships with people - micro-managing them.
It has become too pervasive in this "modern" life - this pouncing on the behaviour of others. I do not consider it "progress" to have a computer chip in a car tell me that my driving is not achieving optimal gas mileage. "Progress" is designing a combustion engine that has been mechanically perfected to achieve good mileage no matter who is driving it.
If there is one place where a lot of leeway needs to be generously lavished - it's at funerals.
You're right, there is the emotion of "regret" on top of all the other emotions and it takes lots of time to work through ALL of it - usually the rest of your life your mind will wander back to a memory of a departed one.....as a "middle-aged" person, I have attended the funerals of children lost to cancer, teenagers lost to accidents, peers lost to the cumulation of chronic stress and, of course, the NATURAL passing on of the elderly. My octagenarian neighbor passed away without suffering, peacefully, which is how she mentioned she would like death to take her. The funerals of the elderly seem to be the easiest, emotionally, to handle. There is a wealth of their personal history that lends that color of bittersweet joy to the attendees celebrating a long, good life. May we all be so blessed.
Since I do believe we can all meet again one day, learning from "regret" that I could have been a better friend, daughter, sister, cousin, mate, mother, etc is something I want to remember so that I can "fix" it somewhere down the road of my ascender's adventure AND remember to take advantage of all the opportunities to not create more regrets while still here in the flesh.
I'll agree that there are some people on whom we might have lavished love and kindness that turned out to be more of a pearl to swine thingy. However, it was not my "sin" that I "loved" the unlovable until I learned the lesson.
"Eternal" judgement of a soul is best left to those truly qualified to know all the potentials of "loving" that free-willed creatures are capable of....and who truly chose not to love one another while on Urantia.
Watch them judgemental "words", Carolyn, when dealing with "death"
Dear 'nuf,
May this latest loss fair well. There are times when it seems that the losses are increasing. Old age?
As time goes by all seems to settle to acceptance of the relationship as it was in reality and not the potential. Regrets are certainly a useless activity unless one actually still has the "time" to "fix" the regrets.
I found this quote from UB about love: "The experience of loving is very much a direct response to the experience of being loved." With the ex-husband that was the gist of the relationship; never loved, but trying to love anyway. I have no regrets for that, just that I could never "fix" it.
I do always regret a post I make without thinking about the outcome. So... sorryyyy about the words.
LOL,
Carolyn